Why You Should Always Reply to an Invite

If there’s one thing I hate, it is when people don’t reply to my meeting invitation. Right after this item on my list of all-time-communication-killers is replying with “Tentative.”

Throughout this week, we’ve talked about crafting the perfect meeting invitation. But the invitation is obviously just the opening shot. The only reason to send one in the first place is because we think we need to meet with other people.

Let’s recap two key points from the past week. First, we meet to achieve something concrete together. We have a concrete target for the meeting (the initiative), and it is an essential step toward some predefined mission. An effective meeting will end with realizing the initiative and being one step closer to our destination. The opposite, of course, is also true: if the meeting is ineffective, we will not be able to move forward; the best we can hope for in that case is standing in place.

The second key point is that every person we end up inviting to the meeting has a role in realizing our initiative. We are not inviting anyone just as an audience or because we feel obligated to. We are assembling a team with a task in mind, and everyone on this team is important.

When we combine these two pillars of effective meetings, the implications of not responding to the invitation become crystal clear. We plan to do some work together, and we need you. If you don’t respond, there’s no way for us to know if we will manage to achieve our goal or not. If that's not enough, consider this: if other people attend the meeting and an important player is missing, we've just wasted the time of those who made the effort.

When I schedule a work meeting with people I know are essential for the discussion, I hope to be in a different place after the meeting. If I have to wait a week to realize the meeting is not taking place (at least not as planned), I’ve just wasted a week. Replying with “Tentative” is no better. Sure, I know the invitee has read the invitation, which is something, but I cannot rely on anything apart from that.

When I receive a meeting invitation that specifies what the meeting is designed to achieve and why I am important in that meeting, I do my best to reply as soon as possible. It doesn’t mean I accept any such invitation. I might have a question or my own opinion on whether I am really needed. I might challenge the goal of the meeting, or perhaps I have different priorities. But in any case, I respond.

My response is not always positive, but it creates clarity for the meeting organizer. They know if they can count on me to attend or not. If I can’t participate in (or don’t agree with their goal or how they perceive my role in the meeting), they can decide whether to change the scope of the meeting, replace me with someone else, or reschedule the meeting. They don’t have to wait until everyone is in the room except me to wonder what to do next.

Next time when you get a meeting invitation, don’t leave it unanswered or vaguely answered. If you understand everything you need to decide, accept the invitation, decline it, or ask to change it. If the goal of the meeting or your role in it is unclear, ask for clarification. This will not just help you; it will help the organizer design and conduct a more effective meeting.